Is it Settling or Growing?

About a month ago I started a new job, but it wasn’t exactly a job that aligns with the years I’ve spent studying gen-eds, writing research papers, and learning about the publishing world. Ultimately, my goal has been to enjoy a long career as an editor. The two jobs related to editing that I interviewed for before moving to San Diego opted to hire individuals who already had publishing-career experience. The four books I’ve edited independently didn’t quite satisfy that requirement as I’d hoped it would.

I ended up accepting a position as the Academic Technology and Media Coordinator (ATMC) where I work out of the Learning Resource Center (LRC) aiding students and staff with technical troubleshooting while maintaining the LRC library and helping proctor admissions exams. Accepting this job, even with the idea of it being transitional, scared me. I’ve heard people, so many times, in so many types of positions, say, “This job was supposed to be temporary, but here I am 10 (or 12 or 20) years later.” Is that a good thing? Is that a bad thing? Perhaps it’s a little of both?

It happens all the time – I realize this – that people end up in jobs, even careers, that have little or nothing to do with their hard-sought-after degrees. But I didn’t start college until my late 30’s, and I am now in my early 50’s. It’s scary to accept a job, at this time in my life, that has nothing to do with my goal to work in publishing. After putting so much money and time and effort into preparing for my dream job, it felt like such a setback to take a job outside of my desired profession, even with the mindset of it being “just for now.” Because how many people have said settling for a different job would be temporary, only to stay there far longer than was originally planned?

Working at Concorde Career College as the ATMC has been a terrific experience thus far. The people are amazing to work with, but it still isn’t what I hope to do long-term. I’m still working toward my Copyediting Certificate through UCSD online and my master’s degree in professional creative Nonfiction Writing through Denver University. I don’t know if my time at Concorde will be lengthy or abbreviated, but I’m still keeping my eyes open for the chance to get my foot in the door of publishing, somehow.

In the meantime, I will respect my job and perform its tasks with all my ability; I know of no other way to be. I’ve never been a person to “half-ass” anything. Whenever I step into the shoes of a new position, my mind instinctively starts looking for ways to improve on-the-job efficiency. In only a month, I’ve re-cataloged the 400+ books of the Learning Resource Center library, and created a very low-cost online source for students to search for available books, complete with a scannable QR code for improved ease of use.

I learned how to work the badge printing machine and put it back into use, and I modified a working spreadsheet of student loaner laptops. I know how to “powerwash” loaner laptops and prepare them for the next student in need. I’ve made updates on two carts with approximately 40 laptops that hadn’t been updated since 2019, and I’ve helped several staff members troubleshoot minor technical problems with their devices. I’m even available to tutor students with writing and other assignments when needed.

Being the ATMC isn’t a terrible job at all. But there’s a part of me that still hesitates to announce on LinkedIn about my new position, simply because it’s not what I’ve worked for all these years. I longingly cheer on friends as they announce the beginning of their careers at places like W. W. Norton, Penguin Books, and a variety of smaller, independent publishing houses, and what… Am I embarrassed about my job? Ashamed? This job is not what I fantasized my working life after college would be like. 

(Deep Sigh.)

But I also realize that I just need to get over myself. Get out of my head. Really! I have a good job at a great company. My dream job is still out there. It only ceases to exist if I stop working for it. I appreciate the fact that I’ve found a good position, for now. But someday, in the near or distant future, my friends will be able to cheer me on as I announce the beginning of my new career in publishing