Santosha

The last few months have been full of upheaval and discontent. This is not a great way to live. It adds stress to your life and removes peace from your heart. I’ve been unhappy with my job because it isn’t related to writing or editing. When I was hired as the Academic Technology & Media Coordinator at Concorde Career College in June of 2023, I expected that I would manage the learning resource center – which is much like a library – and I was excited at this prospect. Cataloging books, curating materials, and conversing with students – it seemed an ideal way to make a living while still pursuing my master’s degree in professional creative Nonfiction Writing.

The position also required that I be available to staff and students for technical troubleshooting. I knew only the very basics of troubleshooting computer and other technical problems and expected that it would not be the primary part of my day-to-day tasks. With the help of our IT wizards, I’ve learned how to reimage computers, change laptop batteries, replace an SSD drive, and add RAM to a laptop. More than 200 laptops have been added to the technical inventory since I started, and the technical side of my job quickly took over a majority of my daily schedule.

Having less time for library-ish tasks and being consumed by technical troubleshooting led to discontent on the job. Don’t get me wrong. I do enjoy my job. It challenges me and has helped me become more self-confident, allowing me to make sound decisions that have improved many aspects of student and colleague study and work environments. My discontentment was brought on more because the job wasn’t related to my passion for words and writing and editing. This led to an obsession with finding a job in publishing, anywhere, even if it meant moving to Los Angeles, New York, Seattle, or Denver.

I put so much effort into writing the perfect cover letter for each “dream” position and tailoring resumes to align with specific positions only to be rejected over and over and over and over again. And why was I rejected? Because I didn’t already have “industry” experience. It made me angry because, how am I supposed to gain industry experience if nobody offers me an opportunity? The only positive responses ended up being job scammers; I had no idea how prevalent job scams existed until going through this obsessive job search. While I did have maybe three or four actual job interviews out of 100+ job applications, I wasn’t selected for the position for the same reason that other employers passed on my application: because I didn’t have industry experience. (This is exhausting.)

It was so exhausting being focused on finding a new job while working my full-time job and trying to keep up with homework. And none of what I’ve covered here even touches my personal life. No wonder I was so unhappy.

I hit a breaking point – a brick wall – and I stopped all excess ventures. I dropped my classes and stopped looking for a different job. I was at a dead-stop in my life and I needed to change. This is when I realized that what I needed more than a different job was to choose contentment. There really isn’t anything wrong with my job. It pays well enough for me to have my own apartment and manage my living expenses. Being the ATMC at Concorde has challenged me in a good way – a way in which I have learned how to do more IT than I ever thought I would. I’ve developed friendships that have encouraged me and helped me become strong and confident as an employee.

Why was I fighting against so many aspects of my life that really weren’t bad at all?

As 2024 came to a close, I decided that I would focus on contentment and gratitude in the new year. After googling quotes about contentment and gratitude, I found a website, theMerryMakerSisters.com, that introduced me to the word “Santosha.”

Santosha is the practice of contentment and gratitude. Who knew there was a name to define exactly what I needed in my life?

This website, MerryBody, talks about Santosha as a part of Yogic practice. It falls under the second limb, Niyama, and is the second of its five internal observations. (Learn more by clicking this link to their website.) The Merry Maker Sisters explain:

“If you look at the current state of society, the majority of people are not satisfied, they are not content with who they are and what they have. Many people want to change their appearance, buy a bigger house, get another new dress, upgrade their car… it’s a forever searching and grasping for more.

But what if, right here, right now, you were enough?”

What if, right here, right now, I am enough? 

Wow! 

WOW! 

I am enough.

Yes, I have goals and dreams that I still hope to accomplish, but where I am right now is enough. I will take my time, finish my master's degree, enjoy the journey, and practice Santosha. I know that I will eventually have that dream job, but I don't feel the need to rush the process anymore. 

Until my dream opportunity comes along, right now, where I am in life, I know that I am enough!